Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, strength and mind and Love all mankind as you would love yourself.

Trying

My friend,
you can conquer the world.
Life is never as bad as it seems to be.
Dreams are not dreamt, if not meant to be.
Never despair.
Cast every care aside.
It’s onward and upward from here.
Take every goal in stride.
Pull yourself back on your feet.
I’ve got your back and we’ve got a world to meet.
They may not always be nice,
but then again we are not mice.
They expect us to thrash and kill and destroy,
but we’ll show them love and peace and joy.
Our tempers must be calmed,
our smiles genuine,
our purpose evident.
Neglect no one.
Take the time for each,
Filling them even when you feel empty.
Loving even when bitterness surrounds you.
Listening amidst the noise.
Undistracted by the world’s unsatisfying toys.
Keep your mission in view
wherever your Commander may send you.
Greet the world with love.

That is what I would tell you.
But I am not you.
You are much more driven than I.
I am a dreamer
(and at times a schemer),
an idealist.
Living each day in blistful mist.
But sometimes the smoke clears
then I sink,
I drop
faster than a lead balloon,
as if stabbed by a sharp harpoon,
down to the depths of despair.
Here I rest.
Unknowing of the next step to take
not sure how to make the break,
how to take the step,
how to stop being paralyzed by this treacherous thing-
bound by the dreams and HABITS I’ve formed
brought to a place where I’m filled with self-scorn.
I don’t know what to do or where to turn
I want to live
I want to love
I want every dream to come to life
I want to go spreading salt, being light.
Why then does my will take flight?
Where does it cower?
Why does it hide?
Am I forever destined a part on the sides?
Too scared to step forward?
To really make a difference?
Am I going to waste this gift of life?
When will I learn to truly take flight?

I don’t want to fail again
and feel as though that is all I can do now
I shoot for the stars and land in the dirt.
Over and over again.

A route to nothing.
A road to nowhere.
I’m stranded on an island-
an island of procrastination and fear.
Can I get over myself?
Set down my pride?
Accept imperfection without running to hide?
Stop being afraid to fail?
Fling myself into each thing completely?
If I try my dreams out, will I succeed?

I’m going to try trying.

Can I do two things at the same time?
Could I minister to those around me?
Is it bad to pursue that?
Can I follow through on my commitment to trying?

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Fading

I see the world
through an artist’s eyes,
while trying to live
in a scientist’s disguise-
a fixed prison, void of all imagination.

Misunderstood
by classmates and profs.
Trying to escape,
seeking a refuge in school,
yet school turned to a nightmare: disappointment reigns.

I long for home
and yet push it away.
Thinking back on those carefree days,
curled up in a corner on coats and covers backstage,
reading books, drawing floorplans-
it was my daily escape.

Then thrown out to the world,
the music from my past quickly fades.
The world said sink or swim
and I rapidly sink.

At first it was fun,
an air of danger and freedom,
the water closed in
and I relaxed in it’s embrace.
It was safe, it was known,

a former friend, but now it turned.
It pulled me deeper,
and held me under longer.
The game turned to pain
and I started to panic.

This is now how you find me,
in a box at the bottom,
bound by the chains of my own making,
not realizing the danger they possessed.

At times I am struggling,
trying to tear free,
but forgetting which way is up,
where air and life breath.

Other times, I am still,
resigned to my fate.
I won’t make it.
I failed.
I feel my heart break.

I’ve been called to a dream that I don’t understand,
to people unmet in a far foreign land.
The dream is sweet, the promises rich and fulfilling.
I wake from the sleep,
and the emptiness is drilling
me deeper and deeper
down to the ground.

Here I sit making mud pies,
refusing to go
to the holiday offered me
next to the sea.

The dream fades from view,
unattainable,
unreached.
I sit covered in mud
as I inwardly weep.

Define.

Sometimes we think that something defines us, but after we lose it we discover that it doesn’t. That can be either quite the relief or rather devastating. It also brings to mind, however, are we truly defined by Christ? He should be such an integral part of who we are and yet, it often seems like we isolate Him to an hour and a half on Sunday mornings, if that. And if we reference Him sometime during the week, we think we’re doing great! What would we be like if all of the sudden Christ was not in our life, if the Spirit no longer dwelled within us? Would there be any difference at all? There should be. And God is willing to change us, how we think, how we act, how we love, if we just ask. Why do we tend to be so hesitant to do just that?

When?

When will we stop caring more about money than about people’s lives?

How?

How will life change if they do not know?
How will they know if they are not shown?
How will they see if Christians are shut up in little boxes in a parallel universe attending to business as usual?
Wake up Christians! We are here for a reason! Show Christ’s love to all. Serve all. Glorify God.
How prevalent is Christ’s love in your life?

Here is my life, Lord

Here is my life, Lord.
Please take the pieces.
And put them right, Lord.
I can’t try to do it anymore.

Lord, I give you my mind. Take control of my thoughts. Help me live for Your kingdom, alone.
Take command of my will, and conform it to thine, in all I do.

And I give you my eyes, please direct me to see as You see all these people and needs.
I commit now my ears, please allow me to hear cries for Your grace.

Here is my life, Lord.
Please take the pieces.
And put them right, Lord.
I can’t try to do it anymore.

I hand over my mouth, help for all that I speak to bring honor and praise to Your name.
And here is my voice, I devote it to You, in speech and song.

Also, reach out my arms, take and use them as Yours to comfort these people right now.
I surrender my heart, mold and break it when Yours breaks, fill it with love.

Here is my life, Lord.
Please take the pieces.
And put them right, Lord.
I can’t try to do it anymore.

Can I dream a dream forgotten?
Can I count the cost?
Can I find a life worth living?
Can I love the lost?

Can I give and can I follow?
Can I drink deeper still?
Can I live a new tomorrow?
Can I trust in Your will?

You have dreamed a dream forgotten.
You counted the cost.
You’ve given me a life worth living.
And said to love the lost.

Help me give and help me follow.
Help me drink deeper still.
I will live for Your tomorrow.
Help me trust in Your will.